date: Thursday, December 16, 2004 @ 1:39 am
title: Day 25: Lord, My Heveanly Father, You are my Underwear... Amen.
I just couldn't sleep last night, cos i met someone whom I have been crouching with anticipation.. I made my first contact with AMANDA..
The angels with snowy white wings, flattering within the glorious light that pierced thru the gray canopy, praising and worshiping at the Awe of His presence... Hey hey, she's not a goddess.
( Constant struggling with my sub-conscience...)
Apparently.. my anticipation came to an end. However... chuan chen i have finally tasted your ' forbidden’ fruit. muahaha… I know your little dark secret after Mr Tan had enlightened me.. You should know my side of the bargain.. a huge Christmas present for me and I might carry it with me into my coffin.
Amanda.. aManda.. amAnda.. amaNda.. amanDa.. amandA..
Let me recall what I know about her..
It took me a few minutes to memorize her spelling for her name.
Initially, Its like A-M-A-D-A-N. sounded like a posh brand for some piece of leather handbag..
Den we are of the same descendant of Lord Robert Baden Powell. She’s a gal guide and I’m a boy scout.
Den we are the same body of Christ. Sister in Christ and Brother in Christ.
Den we are the descendant of Adam. I’m a boy and she’s a gal. Human beings.
Den we are in love with each other. ( hey.. not me. It’s the sub-conscious typing.)
Sub-conscience: don’t u dare to lie to yourself.. which oso includes me. muhahaha.. ( I tied him onto the tree with a masking tape across his mouth. Tearing it will be a nightmare to his facial hair.. muahaha)
Back to Amanda…
I can’t tell very much about her.. but one thing I know.. Many. as in more than 2 persons are cutting each other throats to pursue her.. oops. What did I just blogged? lalala… never trust a scout in tights.
This morning was so… I-want-to-sleep-more-but-I-had-to-meet-my-friend-to-pass-him-the-tee-shirt-den-I-was-early-but-he-was-very-late attitude. I ate the same breakfast I had before the first day of my freedom. Microwaved (real) wheat cereal with milk and a piece of bread with creamy peanut butter was glutted languishly into my belly, without complain; even though I dislike the plain salty disgusting liquid, flowing warmly through my pipes into my HCl acid storage.
Loped and loped to the same old place to board the same old bus to the same old destination to the same old High school to see the same old people lingering at the same old compound with the same old gang. Saw the same old (unbelieved-together)couple : DK and VP, driving their same old wagon and park at the same old carpark. Came me and asked the same old lame question: “why are u here? Siting on the floor and reading”
Den I replied with the same old reason: “I’m waiting for my friend.”
Nothing has changed, apparently the school’s still the same old building with our same old dearest solemn principal lodging in this same old brother’s keep. Soaking in his same old conspired bathtub filled with fresh HL milk and sipping it as well. (Yeww… gross.)
I read the Chinese version of the Newsweek about the CAO scandal and I was terribly flabbergasted by the Chen’s incompetent experience in oil price gamble against professional gamblers from the west. He was definitely got trashed by them. Trashed until he couldn’t turn over, settling the financial bankruptcy was indefinitely. Singapore dollar 550 million… Even Singapore government can’t close an eye upon this scandal. Mr Chen is predicted to be sent behind everlasting bars… never again to be able to create a ‘Shen Hua’ or legacy as many described when CAO’s shares was soaring within 2 dollars within 3 years’ time and collapsed over 3 seasons of conspired oil business trading. If summarized, he’s in deep shit. Smelly shit.
Holy Spirit came knocking at my door… ‘Read Purpose Driven’. Obviously, I obeyed.
“Knock! Knock!”
“Who’s there ?”
“Holy Spirit.”
“Holy Spir… er what are you doing here?”
“Read Purposes Driven…”
“Read what?”
There was a moment of silent.
Reluctant to unzip (I’m not in the loo), I unlocked the jaws and randomly shafting and pulling to find the book. Yahoooo… Dick Warren. So little Dicky got a story for me…
Servant’s Heart. A heart to serve.
A minute passed and I’m still slightly blur blur. no input… absolutely nothing..
Two minutes passed. To be like Jesus = to serve others.
Ten minutes passed. Jesus had no one beneath him. He came to serve.
30 minutes passed. I’m jammed - Servant has to be committed to his chores. Even the mundane ones. No one is exempted. Isn’t Jesus great? He washed Peter’s feet.. Imagine the days where BO was like perfume.
50 minutes passed. If you give a cup of cold water to the least of your family, God will never forget it, but will write it in the Book of Life.
1 hour + passed. A familiar feature was approaching me.. Tze Peng had arrived. – applause echoed –
Gave him the warmest smile and tried to mediate positively: To serve with a joyful heart. To serve with a …
Gently handed over the tee-shirt that he had ordered and collected the balance that he still own. Guess what? He was back in school to see Mrs. Chee (Panties of the Nation -> Joshua told me) for her testimonial, so Tze Peng could submit his overall testimonial to Mr. Thoedy…
Mediate: ‘John Three Sixteen - For God so love the World that He gave his only Son to…’
(Sub-conscience too tired to struggle with me… dozed off while being hung on the tree.)
Board 100 to Church… Sat at the couch facing the entrance. Den came 2 young gals who’s fashion statement was flamboyant that their skirt can barely cover their modesty. So short… Den all the cheeky ah peks glanced and viewed the extravagant scene. Either the gals were desperate for limelight or they were testing my patience:
“To see or not to see.. was that my question?”
Mediate: “see and your eyes will grow maggots…” (Ouch!! That’s gotta hurt.)
Not only their fashion was an ‘eye opener’… they spoke like nobody’s business in the artificial America accent, emphasizing the ‘lor’, ‘lar’, ‘lei’, ‘lee’ and ‘hor’
Their speech was like this,
“Gottagettheclothesanduknowilvuslylor. Hesssocoollei.”
“XXXXyouman.lor”
Something like that. Couldn’t ta han them. If my disciples are like that the next time, when the church grows. I will surely make them wear the modesty cloth and rinse their mouth with everything and anything… Very destructive to me.. Sexual immortality will cut me off from my intimacy with God indefinitely.
I typed so much liao… but havent say why God is my underwear. Tired sia.
1 o’clock liao lei…
Skip my unpleasant incident when photocopying the documents for the church journal…
Go to Cell group incident. During cell, we had games – Win, lose or draw; which was to draw something and people guess what is it. I draw with Sis Von. 5 – 5 each. Den the lesson was on quiet time.
Bla bla bla… Den was teamed up prayer. I was with Su.
Sat on the floor. Spoke about our distractions, shared our problems we faced. Den sudden, like though the heaven’s door opened. Wisdom precipitated on me. I started to share my experience with Su about overcoming constant imperfection. I told her to mediate on God’s word.
“Since you know how to ponder over problem, which is worrying den mediating God’s Rhema will be same, just that ponder over His Words,”
It’s the best way and only way out in tough circumstances. Den the time and opportunities that I got tested over my foundations of what I have absorbed form Dick Warren. I poured and poured.. my tongue was slabbing nonstop.
Prayed in tongues for beginning. Tried to pray with my mind. Didn’t work.
“ Pray in Spirit. Pray in Spirit. Pray in…”
Spoke in tongues again den God spoke to me.
“Tell Su. Don’t worry, be Happy.”
“Happy or joyful?”
“HAPPY!”
Told her. Give her an assurance tug on her crossed legs.
Spoke in Tongues again. Now what had next was really spiritual. I couldn’t stop speaking.
Tongues..Tongues and more Tongues.
He spoke again.
“Leave Su alone by herself to confess her sins precisely, so that I can give her the solution precisely as well. Pour everything onto my hands and I will crush it for her.”
(Something like that.. ‘cos I was a little bit excited.)
And I Left.
Why God is my Underwear?
Cos during cell. The Holy Ghost ministered to me abt the incident of my mum not washing my laundry.
He gave me an idea of my underwear:
Free size
(Only He knows my size, what I like.)
Gives the correct support.
(So no internal spiritual injuries might happened unintentionally.)
Clean
(No yeast will make me spiritually unclean.)
Sweat
(Like Jesus who died on the Cross with all the wrath carried by him)
Washing it
(Surrendering all)
Not have it
(Insecurity / Lost of intimacy.)
Have new clean pair
(Back to my first love.)
Connecting to what Bro Sean said to me once, “Don’t treat God like a disposable Underwear.”
Now the full version:
“Don’t treat God like a Disposable Underwear, but like Your Underwear that You always Wear.”
